Chapter Four

You know you're in Great Britain when...

1. The "movie theater" is the "cinema"

I recently went to go see a film with two of my cousins called "The World's End." Basically, it was the epitome of British-boy humor full of beer and robots. I also enjoyed the mannered way of receiving my tickets at the cinema. The lady at the desk pleasantly asked me where I'd like to sit, pulling out a map of the theater with the seats numbered. I was then politely ushered into a mini-cafe with choices of pastries, popcorn and tea. Another employee showed me to my designated seat with a warm smile and a welcoming, "Enjoy your film." In short, I need to go to the cinema more often.

2. You play the football (soccer) version of basketball H-O-R-S-E with your boy cousins

Five of us got in a circle, kicking a soccer ball in the air. Each time someone allowed the ball to run loose or bounce more than once, they received a letter until the word is completed. Unlike in basketball, however, the name of the game was A-R-S-E.

3. The crowd sits perfectly still at a gospel choir concert...as in frozen

I went to a gospel choir concert at a church two days ago with my aunt and cousin; the choir itself was very animated, swaying back and forth constantly. Their voices reverberated against all the walls of the church, saturated with power and rejuvenation. I wanted to get up and dance with them, or at least clap my hands and shout a couple "Amens"! But I looked around and was surprised to see stony faces everywhere. Not even a slight bob of the head. Its not as if the audience didn't enjoy the concert, by all means, at the end (when it was appropriate to show emotion) the choir received a raucous applause. I was flabbergasted, intrigued, and humored all at the same time. I mean, don't these Brits have soul?

4. The "backyard" is the "garden"

I spent Sunday afternoon in the garden playing croquet with my family. I don't understand why croquet isn't popular in America, its simply sublime! Now I realize cricket will never be popular in the States but croquet, c'mon, it deserves a chance.

5. You begin getting annoyed with Americans

Today, I visited Warner Bros Studios of the Harry Potter films near London. The tour itself was spectacular; I am still in awe of the momentous energy invested in the intrinsic detail in each and every film. The costumes, sets, props, visual effects, special effects, animals, animal trainers, and engineered magic combined made the Harry Potter experience an universally iconic phenomenon. As a tourist attraction, though, there were people from all over the globe including other Americans. One American group in particular was being especially loud and obnoxious, and in response, I caught myself thinking, "Shut up, you stupid Yankees."